At the Land Legal Group, our Los Angeles divorce attorneys know there is no easy way to tell your family you have decided to end your marriage. In most cases, we also know that friends are typically the first to know, and family — for countless reasons — are the last.
Whether it is because your parents, siblings, or other close family members have no idea what is actually happening in your home, or if they do not believe divorce is a solution, spreading the news can be challenging.
Our California divorce attorneys have a few tips for having this difficult conversation, so you can move forward with confidence.
Choose Who Should Know About the Divorce
The very first people who should know about your divorce are your children, if you have them.
We have discussed how to talk to your kids about divorce, so you can start moving forward with other conversations about their futures too.
While finding the right words can be challenging, the next most pressing issue is to inform the important people in your life first like your parents, and your spouse’s parents. There is no need to tell the world, including distant relatives or people who are not involved in your daily life.
Consider whether you need to discuss your divorce with anyone at work, including a supervisor who may need to know more about you taking time away while you attend to important divorce and family matters, and ask for their discretion while you navigate this very personal matter.
Find the Right Words Before You Have the Conversation
There is no right time to get divorced. That means, there is no good time to tell anyone you are getting divorced. Even the anticipation of having a difficult conversation like this one can cause significant stress and anxiety.
Knowing what to say before this discussion starts can help you prepare.
Keep the subject simple and deliver the message calmly — without blame or too many details.
Placing blame can cause more tension and animosity between both parties, making this already less-than-ideal situation more challenging.
Keep in mind, this news is not going to be easy for everyone to hear. Be patient and understand they may have questions. It is only natural for close friends and family to want to know what factors led you and your spouse to this decision.
While answering questions, and allaying any fears may be important, so is your privacy. Boundaries are just as important, and many details — like property division, child custody, child support, or other personal information — may be best left between you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse.
Set clear boundaries to help control the conversation and stay on task. Common ways to express this sentiment is to simply just say it: “I am sure you have a lot of questions, but I do not feel comfortable disclosing all the details of our marriage. I would appreciate your support while we navigate the proceedings.”
Talk to Our Experienced Los Angeles Divorce Attorneys About Your Concerns
There is a lot to consider when getting divorced, and most of the important issues can be proactively addressed by partnering with a family law attorney you can trust. We can help.
If you have questions about divorce, finances, and your future, contact our skilled family law attorneys in Los Angeles at the Land Legal Group today at (310) 552-3500 to schedule a free consultation to discuss your unique needs and to learn how we can help.