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Last year, according to Forbes Magazine, 689,308 divorces occurred across the 45 U.S. states that reported these statistics. During the same year, 1,985,072 marriages occurred, making the U.S. marriage rate six per 1,000 people.
At the Land Legal Group, our divorce attorneys in Los Angeles know while that is true, overall, as the American Psychological Association reports, approximately 40-50% of first marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate for second marriages is even higher, with approximately 60-67% of second marriages ending in divorce.
Our California family law attorneys understand those who do separate from their partners and begin their journey to divorce are approaching a difficult process — even when it is the right decision.
While many family members and friends are there to provide support, based on what they know or have experienced, they may be unable to provide actionable advice regarding your case.
Here, we discuss three professionals who are equipped to advise you on the challenging aspects of California divorces.
Divorcing Californians Have More than Friends and Family They Can Turn To For Help
There may be nothing better than getting the emotions, frustrations, and challenges associated with a divorce off your chest by talking to a close friend or family member about your journey. Your support system can provide exceptional encouragement during your time of need.
However, unless they have the education, skills, and resources to provide expert advice and guidance in three crucial categories, it is best to leave it to the professionals.
Including:
- Therapists.
Divorce can take significant physical, mental, and emotional tolls on a person’s mind and body, leaving them feeling stressed and anxious — maybe even depressed or defeated.
A professional family therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist can help provide the tools you need to handle the stress and anxiety that accompany some divorce proceedings.
- Financial Consultants.
Before you can divide your assets per California’s community and separate property laws during a divorce, you must know everything there is to know about your marital assets and debts.
A financial consultant can help you determine which items were obtained during the marriage, which were gifts to either party and what legally belongs to you or your spouse so you can divide them accordingly.
Once you understand the totality of your assets and debts, your financial future will become more clear.
- An experienced California family law attorney.
Partnering with a skilled Los Angeles divorce and family law attorney will ensure your rights are protected from the start of your case. We will also provide the legal advice and guidance you need to reach mutual decisions regarding all necessary issues like property division, spousal support, child custody, parenting plans, and child support. If you and your spouse cannot reach a mutual decision on your divorce details, we will represent your best interests during mediation or inside the courtroom.
Here are a few tips to put your doubts to rest, so your family can openly enjoy each other’s relationships with new people.
Step One: Begin the Process by Alerting the Kids to Your New Relationship
Springing the fact that you are in a new relationship with your kids and introducing your partner at the same time is going to be incredibly overwhelming for everyone involved.
Before you can introduce your kids to your new partner, you must tell them about him or her and explain how this person is important to you and how he or she makes you happy.
You have the right to have a new partner and a new love and explaining to your kids how you want to share that relationship with them is important. Kids are very perceptive and will immediately notice how your mood is enhanced when this person is around, which will ease the stress of the introduction.
Step Two: Your New Partner Does Not Take the Other Parent’s Place in Their Lives
Your ex-spouse is also the mother or father of your children, which means he or she holds an indelible place in their hearts and lives.
Children need to know that they are not betraying their other parent by meeting or even liking the new partner. Make it clear: your partner is not a rival; he or she is extra support.
Step Three: Your New Love is No Match for Your Love for Your Kids
This step will certainly depend on the age of your children, but it is important for your kids to know that they will not have to compete with your new partner for your love and affection.
Your kids have already had to adjust to their parent’s divorce. There is no doubt that was incredibly difficult. Adding a new partner to the equation will require a renewed emphasis that your children are the most important thing in your life.
Step Four: Give Your Children and Partner Time and Space to Interact
It is exceedingly difficult to not want to anxiously helicopter over your new partner’s first (or sets of firsts) interactions with your children, but it is important to give them time and space together — without your intervention.
Allow your children to ask questions, and your new partner to answer.
You are introducing them to your new partner because you are sure that it is the right thing to do.
Trust everyone’s role in this decision and establish a balance that allows everyone to explore this interaction freely.
Step Five: Know that Your Kids May Hate Every Second of This Process (at least at first)
It is completely normal for children to reject a new partner simply because it is not their parent.
It is up to you to take the time to work through these issues, while understanding you may not be able to solve them immediately.
Your partner will need to gain the trust and love of your children, which will take patience.
It is not going to happen overnight.
Contact Our Family Law Attorney in Los Angeles at the Land Legal Group (310) 552-3500
If you have questions about divorce and would like to discuss how your kids will be affected by the decision, contact our skilled family law attorneys in Los Angeles County at the Land Legal Group today at (310) 552-3500 to schedule an initial consultation to discuss your unique circumstances.
