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    Tips for Increasing Emotional Security for Children Before, During & After a California Divorce


    At the Land Legal Group, our experienced Los Angeles divorce attorneys understand that our California clients have so much on their plates when deciding to dissolve their marriages, including an emotional journey filled with twists and turns.

    Depending on the circumstances of the divorce, couples who share minor children may have more to consider when responding to their kids’ needs during the split, no matter their ages.

    Divorce is incredibly difficult for everyone involved. Empowering yourself by increasing the time you take to ensure both you and your kids are having healthy conversations about the changing family dynamics will help secure a steady path.

    Here are a few tips to get started.

    Validate Your Kids’ Struggles

    No matter how old your kids are, or how well they understand that the marriage was difficult, and things are moving in a healthier direction, they may still struggle with not seeing both parents as often as they had before the split.

    While it can be difficult to work with an ex-spouse to ensure you are both equitably sharing your time with the kids, attending events, and communicating with the children on the days you are not physically present helps validate their emotions.

    Child custody does not have to dictate your presence at your kids’ sporting events or other extra-curricular activities, or how much you can call, text, or FaceTime/Skype with your kids.

    Maintaining daily or ongoing contact with your kids can also provide the emotional support you need to know things are okay.

    Increase the Kids’ Sense of Security

    Kids are not physically, emotionally, or psychologically equipped to understand the nuances of an adult relationship, and how difficult it is to maintain civility, compassion, and sincerity throughout a marriage. This is especially true when there are marital difficulties, financial trouble, or other sensitive issues at play.

    To help increase your kids’ sense of security, demonstrate a willingness to co-parent, so they can visibly see and physically feel that the dissolution was about your and your ex-spouse’s decision to move in separate personal directions, but that you are still a team when it comes to their happiness and well-being.

    Your children may have an easier time transitioning when they are sure that they had no part in the divorce, and can enter their new stage of life knowing that their parents love and support them.

    Decrease the Kids’ Stress and Anxiety

    Think about the stress and anxiety the divorce has caused you, personally. Then think about how your kids feel. They worry too.

    Many children experience great deals of anxiety and stress both inside and outside of the home when their parents are divorced.

    Who is going to come to our games? Are they going to get along? Will my friends, teachers, and other important people in my young life see what’s happening?

    Co-parenting, resolving issues together, and presenting a united front allow the kids to breathe a sigh of relief that they do not have to worry about their parents being in the same place at the same time.

    Forge a Better Relationship Between You, Your Ex-Spouse, and Your Kids

    Children who grow up with both parents in their lives typically have steady relationships with each parent, form better communication skills, and forge bonds with their siblings, friends, and other family members that allow for a healthy future.

    If you are considering divorce and are worried about the impact it will have on your children, contact our skilled family law attorneys in Los Angeles at the Land Legal Group today at 310-552-3500 to schedule a free consultation to discuss your unique needs.

     

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